my parents only care about my grades

After the third meeting I was taken off all meds and off they went to wherever they go. Contact the suicide hotline & call a counsellor & get counselling. Dad is happy to just follow on a stronger mom simply because it absolves him of the responsibility. There is a great deal of value in recognizing when you make a mistake and then correcting it. They're only happy with me unless I did something exactly to their expectations. Some parents want their children to be physically/emotionally flawless. Truth. No it wasn't 0, it was worth 1/2pt! Went to Mazatlan every summer for about 1 month at least everyone of those 18 yrs. Often, they consider their offspring's goals "unrealistic" and "lofty." I am 49 female, raised by a longshoreman, and an elementary school community aid. Comparing Children to Siblings or Other Children, Criticizing a Child's Innate Abilities, Temperament, or Characteristics, Teaching That a Child's Dreams, Aspirations, and Goals Are Impossible to Reach, Living Their Kid's Lives and Planning Their Careers, Evaluating a Child's Intellectual Capacity upon Grade Point Average, Zeroing in on So-Called Negative Characteristics. I checked off about 7-8 ways I've been hurt. If they aren't receptive, discuss the matter with a trusted relative. It's sad that for a while I liked about where I worked and what I made. There are some parents who believe that their word is law and etched in stone, and that might equals right. They're gonna make more money than me." There is an old saying that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. it's making me go insane at this point, and i don't know what to do. There are individuals who aspire to uncommon goals and unique careers. I am probably doing everything possible to get better (at my expense - if it would do any good to sue my parents I would). Second therapist referred me to the psychologist. I am happy with where I am at. When i showed them my grades mom was like "meh.. You were always that good" but dad was proud of me. When they win a baseball game, there are loud cheers. Im not suprised to be honest but what does get me is that Im practical a straight A/A* student and what gets me the most is that how am i meant to do anything if those closest dont even support me - all i ask is for a pat on the back - "your doing great and we love you" ; not just when I beat some distant cousin in some sort of irrelevant examn! Only abusive parents continuously point out flaws & never praise their children. Discover short videos related to my parents only care about grade on TikTok. If anyone actually read this please just tell me what to do. She really really wanted an extremely smart kid. My mom doesn't value creativity or musical talent, so I'm forever a disappointment. They also become passive, believing that they do not count. They plan their children's lives from birth to marriage to career and beyond. Preach a positive mental approach to dealing with failures and mistakes. (My parents make me feel dumb.). "Actually, it's the parents," she confessed with a wince. I'm doing this for me. WHat should I do? quick info, i am autistic and i cannot work under pressure. Might it help if you got a math tutor? This results in a child's poor self image. I have every characteristic from being an underachiever to timid. Im not really praised as much as my sister is. In fact insecure people are the worst to have around. She now purposefully misgenders me and forces me to wear feminine clothes. I wouldn't want to cause them pain, and I have just naturally never fought for my life. You shouldn't have to endure such abuse from your mother & sister. I have a stored temperdue to being suppressed and snubbed from even showing negative irritation, get blamed for everything they do or that is not of their limited paradigms, heavily criticized for not wearing what clothes they got me (out of "love") or for keeping even a 2 day stubble. I'm gonna turn 30 in a few years, and my relationship with my parents has continued like this for what feels like an eternity. Im sick and tired. She had to work, even as a young child, for the most basic things - a uniform and and stationery - so she could attend school. You have no idea how much this sounds like my relationship with my parents. With toxic parents, children are better off away such "parents". To pigeonhole anyone's intellectual ability based entirely upon their GPA often creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. You call in the help phoned sometimes, but they are often kids or inexperienced I don't know I'm not passing judgment but we never click, I just end up getting disconnected. But for some reason my parents are the only ones not proud of her. Real Example: We got our grades of the Chemistry exam today, i read the question wrong, i read Beta Particles instead of Alpha Particles, but i answered the question right if it was talking about Beta Particles so basically i answered it right, in a way. Parents believe that they apply corrective measures because they care for their children. Making mistakes is an integral part of a child's learning and growth process. I'm literally crying while writing this. Father of five-month-old who drinks and smokes excessively makes no effort to parent. My heart rips itself apart going through the thought. My dad never molested me. AND when i say parents i mean my daf and my grandma bc i live with them And telling them they are stupid and him telling to our face our mother is stupid and barely graduated with cs and Ds and what a cold fish she was a in bed with him ! I have a "problem" i always get stressed in exams so i sometimes read questions in the wrong way, which leads to me getting low grades even though im good in that subject. Im 16 and i have an incredibly stressful life 6am - 10 or 12pm everyday. I hope Killing Myself would be better than living in meaningless life. There also where a lot of little other events between mom and me that resulted in me feeling like shit all day and now that my dad moved out as they divorced the one person who cares about me is not here as often anymore. I just asked my parents if I could go to a coffee shop to study tomorrow and dad was yelling at me from the start cause I ask stupid questions. So everything mom say IS, WILL BE right. I spent a full year wakibg up with panic attacks and anxiety but even after that they tell me i need to work harder. I've never had money so I've never been able to take care of myself. Mom keeps restricting me, nagging me if she doesn't satisfied with everything I did. you dont cry now i see why he does that because that is clearly abuse i still have scars on my body physical scars ! somebody on the internet on July 04, 2018: I'm glad I'm not the only person who's going through this. Teach them to enjoy the process and love the commitment it takes to accomplish their dreams. Answer: Discuss the matter with a relative & perhaps report your mother to a human services agency which deals with child abuse. Last report card, I got a C in math. Parents care more about their child's grades than the child itself. Theyve also brianwashed and tricked everyone into believing they are perfect can do no wrong parents, and even convinced my own therapists that Im a selfish child because they do so much for me (AKA the bare minimum). They are toxic, even evil. scars on my Back ! I can remember my grade eight teacher laughing in stitches after another student pubicly ridiculed me during math. My parents & brothers even told me I deserved to be raped & that me getting raped was 'my fault'. I cried as I was scrolling through this article. My Parents Don't Like my Partner (Boyfriend or Girlfriend), High Pressure for High Grades Leads to High Kids, Effective Ways to Talk to Your Kids so They will Listen, Boosting Your Child's Performance: Encouraging Self-Motivation, Why You Need To Sleep On It: Sleep Helps Your Brain Consolidate New Memories, Why Kids Don't Tell Their Parents They Are Being Bullied, And How To Spot The Signs. Probably because for my public school career I was bullied. If I protested, they would tell me I am lazy and useless and that this was the "small" price I had to pay for being taken care of. I don't know what's wrong with me. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on June 13, 2018: This article is right on point. This child begins to lose what sense of initiative and risk-taking that they have and thus they become extremely anxious and risk-aversive, often not electing to attempt anything for fear of failure. I'm just frustrated. I am ok looking. Parents refuse to acknowledge how insidious comparing children are for many children are emotionally, psychologically, & even psychically damaged by comparing them to other children. Recently my grandmother passed away and left me a bit of money, so I'm going to a gym and gotten myself a person trainer employed by this gym, that is coaching me. Answer: No, but I suggest that you obtain psychiatric counselling and disassociate yourself from your father. Crazily (or not), research shows that some of the best change happens in kids when their parents work more on themselves. They want to give you a better future than they have. Children need praise in order to assess the positivity of their performance and to continue with such behavior. If you make it, who knows. Those who criticize their diametrically different children's innate abilities and characteristics are often invalidating their children's innermost psychological core. I used to have suicide thoughts when I was little but I give up on that because of the internet that make me have a lot of online friends that supported me .I feel stupid sometimes because when I have negative thoughts there goes the positive pop out of no where .,. My mam blamed them for making me not study (even though I was) and she often didnt allow me to leave the house. I now only see her so that I don't get cut from her will, but I'm emotionally divorced from her. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. (I am seventy-four.). My goodness. Well, some individuals have goals and aspirations which are dramatically different and rare. Not to even mention my life outside work. I hung out in my cave like room or over at my friend's house as a teen. She remembers everything I ever did in my life that she didn't like and throws it back at me. I knew that my mam wasnt the best but I think I really understand it now. Help! Not to also mention here that the phrase "they know about everything" including about me. Correction and discipline are not meant to demoralize children and to make them feel less than what they are. I know my parents love me and they are trying to provide me with the best life they can but they are so controlling. Second therapist is known locally for being pretty good. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on April 15, 2018: Seek counselling either by talking to a close friend, relative, or a psychologist. 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